之 “前”的事
有時候情已逝、淚不再，
是不是反而會無形地轉成另一種競爭的力量?
“我會暗地比較著我是不是有他好，到底哪裡比不上。”
這讓我聯想到Alan多年前的一段往事。
“他當時的女友找了我吃頓晚餐，當著我的面親口跟我說，那個男的是他這輩子最愛的人。
對方是個事業無成的三腳貓，還有兩個拖油瓶。我到底輸在哪?”
而這是到Alan成家過後女兒都兩歲多，依然無解的問題。
當我們看到自己的舊鞋有了新襪，
是不是多少都會有點吃味，甚至給予的祝福都很虛偽?
人要走，藉口有百百種。
然而當你看到那新襪沒你耐穿沒你實用時，
的確心理的聲音會偷偷地歡呼，有著阿Q式的勝利。
而當對方的條件比你好時，
會覺得自己像碰了一鼻子灰的狗般輸地徹底。
到底對於過往的戀情能賦予真誠祝福的人有多少?
或許又像看本書，那本書的名字可能叫做
“123，分手真簡單。”
或是 “親愛的，他不適合你。”這種所謂金星火星的問答集。
在對方身上看到了自己終究給不出來的那一塊，
你在他們的合照裡找到了他面對你從來沒有過地燦爛，
在朋友間耳聞到他們彼此之間的用心。
What else we can say?
我們絕對不會是個輸家，只是你遇到了個你贏不了的莊家罷了。
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